10 ways to Improve your connection skills

Everyone in your organization needs to develop connection skills, especially leaders. Managers lead from authority, whereas leaders lead from a combination of authority and connection.

It is not unusual for managers who are good at organizing tasks to require help developing the personal leadership skills necessary to better connect and maintain a connection with people. Weak connection skills hold many managers back from becoming leaders that people want to follow. The following attitudes, language, and behaviors will help facilitate connection.

1. Recognize varying connection needs. People have different predispositions when it comes to their sensitivities to feeling connection or lack thereof. People also respond differently to actions in terms of whether or not it makes them feel connected. Learn about the people you lead, and tailor your behaviors to connect based on what you’ve learned about each individual.

2. Be present in conversations. It has been said that attention is oxygen for relationships. When meeting with people, get in the habit of being present by giving them your full attention. Show that you are engaged and interested by asking questions, and then asking follow-up questions to clarify. Listen carefully, observing facial expressions and body cues. Don’t break the connection by checking your phone, looking around the room, or letting your mind wander.

3. Develop the ability to empathize. Mutual empathy is a powerful connector that is made possible by mirror neurons in our brains. Mirror neurons act like an emotional Wi-Fi system. When we feel the emotions of others, it makes them feel connected to us. When we feel their positive emotion, it enhances the positive emotion they feel. When we feel their pain, it diminishes the pain they feel. If someone expresses emotion, it’s OK, and natural, for you to feel it too.

4. Develop the habit of emphasizing positives. Psychologist John Gottman first observed that marriages were less likely to survive when the positive/negative ratio of interactions dipped below 5-to-1 (or five positive interactions to every negative interaction). More recently, psychologist Barbara Fredrickson found that a positivity ratio also applied in the workplace. People need affirmation and recognition, so get in the habit of looking for ways to affirm and serve others. Do this by looking for task strengths and character strengths, which reflect the excellence of a person’s work and the way that person goes about her work, respectively. For example, you might affirm a colleague by saying, “Nancy, that was an outstanding website you created. The navigation design was easy to use, the writing was easy to understand, and the color scheme was beautiful.” You might affirm her character strengths by saying, “Nancy, I appreciate the way you persevered to make our new website happen. You showed wisdom and humility in seeking the ideas of others and applying the best ideas to the design of our new website. Very nicely done.”

5. Control your tone of voice. Recognize that people will instinctively react to the delivery of your message before they hear its content. They may put up a wall and become defensive or feel threatened if your tone of voice is booming, shrill, or strident.

6. Negotiate with the mindset to solve a problem rather than to win. You can build connections with people during negotiations if you adopt and maintain the right mindset. Thinking of the people you are negotiating with as competitors leads to disconnection and distrust. Instead, think of them as holding knowledge that you need in order to identify a win-win solution. Negotiating requires probing, patience, and perseverance to understand other people’s objectives, perceptions, and sensitivities.

7. Provide autonomy in execution. Monitor progress and be available to help your direct reports, but refrain from micromanaging unless they ask for specific help. Favor guidelines rather than rules and controls, and let people know that you are available if they have questions or would like you to act as a sounding board. This meets the human need for autonomy and allows people to experience personal growth.

8. Learn and apply the five languages of appreciation. Ask your direct reports about the times they remember receiving recognition at work. Find out what their primary and secondary languages of appreciation are. The five languages of appreciation in the workplace are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. However, note that physical touch is not a primary language of appreciation in the workplace, and should generally be avoided. To learn more, read Gary Chapman and Paul White’s The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace.

9. Apologize when you make a mistake. We all make mistakes, but not everyone says they’re sorry. Apologizing is an important step that will help rebuild connection.

10. Develop social skills and relationship skills, and recognize the difference between them. Many individuals develop social skills, which make them excellent networkers who impress and connect with others in casual interactions. However, in addition to social skills, it is essential to develop relationship skills, which help create deeper connections with a few people who have your back. Consider the skills you use when meeting someone for the first time versus nurturing your relationship with a best friend. Relationship skills – regularly spending time with an individual, being open to sharing your struggles, sharing someone’s joy and pain, being there in times of need, and so on –help develop the deeper connections that are necessary for individual wellness and well-being to thrive in life and achieve sustainable superior performance.

Scientific research has shown that human connection makes us more productive, healthier and happier. Research also shows that greater connection boosts revenue, profit and shareholder returns.

Mark this day, begin connecting and just watch what happens. Over time you will see that connection impacts more than the bottom line. As you experience greater peace, hope and joy that come from having an abundance of connection in your life, you will have discovered wealth of even greater value.

Social Media Marketing: Strategise and Win

Social media is one of the most powerful tools in any marketing Strategy. If you use it correctly, you can create a strong personal connection with your prospective customers. To benefit from social media, you need to build a clear strategy that takes into account what you’re trying to achieve, who your customers are and what your competition is doing.

Steps to get started : 

Understand your goals: As with any journey, the first step in creating a social-media marketing strategy is to understand where you want to go. What is the purpose of your social media marketing efforts? Do you want to create or raise awareness of your brand? Are you looking to increase sales, or website traffic, or both? Is your goal to build customer loyalty and increase retention? These goals aren’t mutually exclusive, but you should focus on one or two: If you spread yourself too thin, you’re not going to accomplish anything.

Create measurable objectives:It’s time to set clear objectives based on your goals. Focus on the S.M.A.R.T. strategy for goal setting to ensure your objectives are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time based.

Once you set your objectives, make sure you can measure them. Find the right tools to track and analyze each one, so that you can quantify your progress. Not only will this let you know when you have arrived, it will also help you to spot problems early and adjust your course if you need to.

Characterize your customers: Now you know where you’re going, but you still don’t know how to get there. A successful social-media strategy is all about targeting the right people with the right messages. To do this, you need to understand your audience. For instance, there’s no point in targeting everyone in the 18 to 35 age group if you really want to get to upwardly mobile young professionals who are technology enthusiasts.

The best way to do this is to create buyer personas. Sit down and create a detailed profile of your ideal customer. Start by giving them a name. How old are they? What is their income? Do they have children? What do they like or dislike? What motivates them? And so on. If you have more than one ideal customer, create a persona for each.

Look at the competition: When it comes to social media, your competition can tell you a lot about what works and what doesn’t. After all, they’re targeting the same customers  you are. If you ignore your competition, you’re giving up a fantastic opportunity to learn from their successes and mistakes.

To research your competitors, start by picking three or four of the top ones. Find out which social networks they’re active on, and study their content. Is it funny or serious? What kind of cultural references do they use? Do they talk about their product primarily, or do they focus on other things?

Develop your messages: Now you have a handle on your ideal customers and your competition, it’s time to start building your messages. This isn’t detailed content; rather it's the top level set of key messages that you think will resonate with your customers based on the personas you have created. Choose two or three messages, then break each one down another level creating a simple messaging hierarchy.

There’s nothing wrong with adopting some of your competitors’ successful messaging ideas but also try to create original messages that set you apart -- this will help you to create a unique brand voice. Don’t be afraid to get creative as your social media presence should be exciting, not boring.

Choose your channels:  Not all social-media platforms are the same. You need to choose the right ones for the products or services you’re selling.

You should also identify influencers who can reach your target audience. Good bloggers command high levels of trust in their readers and are indispensable in creating buzz around your brand. Take the time to target the most appropriate bloggers – sites such as mine.

Build a content plan: Finally, you need to develop a strong content plan that will deliver engaging material. The content needs to align with your overall messaging and be appropriate for the channels you’re using. This is more than just product information – think about how you can deliver real value to your audience. Don’t just stick to one type of media – a mix of videos, guides, infographics and other styles will engage your potential customers more effectively. Also, don’t think of content as something you post once. 

You need to have an ongoing presence on social media, and that includes delivering fresh content on a regular basis.

Overcoming Social Anxiety

You are all set to host a presentation. Your palms are clammy, your heart racing, and your throat parched. As you approach the presentation area, your mind begins to get fuzzy. You mumble something and then go completely blank. As you stand there staring blankly at a room full of people, you realize what a jackass you have made of yourself. This is what social anxiety is. Almost all of you have had anxiety attacks at some point of your lives. Overcoming social anxiety is necessary for an individual to succeed in life, as not doing so can create plenty of cracks in relationships at home and in work. Social anxiety at work can affect your career prospects, and anxiety in public places, such as airport and restaurants can affect your capability to meet new people and make friends. Most importantly, anxiety at special occasions such as a party, a night out, or family vacation, can severely damage your bonds with people who are most vital to you. Fortunately, with a little bit of conscious effort, one can overcome this social phobia. The below-mentioned tips will help you to overcome your social anxiety and deal with your stress in a better way.

Overcoming Social Phobia 

Control Your Reactions
The biggest problem with any social anxiety disorder is the reaction it causes in our body. It leads to increased heart rate, a racing mind, shakiness, sweating and other reactions triggered by some deep-seated fear. It is quite simple to overcome these reactions through learning techniques such as yoga, meditation, and self-hypnosis.

Prepare Yourself Mentally
Instead of letting the fear of embarrassment or humiliation overwhelm you in social settings, you can prepare yourself with some scenarios to ensure that you are ready for any challenging situations. If you are prepared for worst things, which might happen and you know what to do or say in those moments, you will naturally get the confidence to remain calm and manage the situation.

Face Your Fears
Social fears do not stem from a lack of social skills, but from a sense of insecurity and lack of esteem. To overcome this, it’s important to step out of your comfort zone. Test yourself. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations like speaking in front of your peers or complimenting someone. By doing so, you will easily beat your apprehensions. Soon you will realize that your social fear has vanished.

Be Engaged Socially
You can participate in assertiveness classes, volunteer for an event, which keeps you in a social setting, and try to build relationships with people you normally would not. You can also be part of an online support group, talk with other likeminded, and learn about their triumphs and struggles. This will give you the confidence, which you require to break the self-imposed barrier of fear.

Develop A Positive Attitude
The way you think make a strong influence on the way you feel. The realization that only you can control the way you think and the manner those thoughts control you, is an important step to defeat social anxiety. When thoughts like ‘they will make fun of me’ or ‘I am going to fail’ comes to your mind, try replacing them with more realistic and calmer thoughts. Try telling yourself that you are capable, confident and wonderful enough to fight those negative thoughts. Positive visualization and affirmation will also help to motivate you along the road and boost your self-esteem.

Try Adjusting Your Attitude
You can adjust your attitude on fronts, such as, changing the unrealistic expectations of your own behavior. Ensure you change the indistinct perception that others will condemn you if you are not perfect. Practice replacing the self-critical thoughts with more supportive ideas such as, “Most people can handle it when someone makes a mistake,” “It would be nice if this had turned out differently, but it’s not the end of the world,” “No one else is perfect. I don’t have to be either.”

Try To Speak Up
Ensure you always talk in a reasonably louder voice and do not be scared if your statement overlaps the previous speaker a bit. Frequent eye contact is a key factor in modern communication. A relaxed and an alert posture are more amicable than one that is quite rigid. It is good to be updated about contemporary events, which make you seem like a friendly character. If you have a specialized interest, try to talk more about it so that beginners as wells as experts can understand you. You can also collect amusing stories or jokes to tell.

Be An Inquisitive Listener
Never hesitate to ask questions. For instance, ask questions which cannot be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ like those that start with ‘why’, ‘how’, ‘what’, and ‘when’. In social gatherings, never hesitate to approach another person who looks shy.

Practice Diversion Techniques
Practicing diversion techniques will help you to concentrate on something else when your anxiety starts to build. It also acts as a helpful resource that you require to come out on top at a social gathering. You can start reading a book or get engaged in a hobby, which you are enthusiastic about. If you are engaged in a chosen diversion, you will not get time to think about your worries and will feel confident talking about it. People will notice your interest and reward you with positive reinforcement. All of this will increase your self-confidence and you will find yourself actually enjoying the social situation instead of running away from it.

Ensure not to let anxiety keep you away from things and people you value in your life. Learning to overcome anxiety will open innumerable doors of opportunities for you. If you implement the techniques and learn to treat the anxiety with a demonstrated anti-anxiety regiment, you will find more contentment and greater pleasure in life. 

C R Arun

Reinvent your personality

One fine morning you wake up as a personality what you want to be. For that you will have to do a complete makeover of your personality. You will have to forget your past personality, your personal weaknesses and think only of your strong points.

You may think that it might be difficult. No it’s simple and needs little help from you. Nobody else in this world can help you better than you yourself. All that it requires is that it takes a good deal of planning, resilience and grit. You will have to follow some steps and discipline. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

 How To Reinvent Yourself

·       Believe In Yourself

·       Take Your Time

·       Stop blaming yourself

·       Stick to your plans

·       Visualize your future

·       Say no to negatives

·       Check your progress

Believe In Yourself

Self-belief forms the base of the process involved in handling the transformation that you wish to acquire. If you don’t trust yourself, then the chance of your efforts botching up are huge. Remind yourself that you had been great and that you will do the same in the future.

Take Your Time

When you feel at some point in life that this wasn’t something you wanted for yourself, you know it’s time to change. Reinventing yourself isn’t always easy. It can seem to be exciting, but at the same time, the change can be quite intimidating too. Therefore, it is essential to take your time to settle down and think about how you plan and go about it.

Stop Blaming yourself

Only when you don’t blame yourself will you be able to go about it without feeling bad about the entire deal. It quite often happens that you start evading people to avoid answering their questions related to work. It is important to realize that if you are not able to face people and have enough strength to withstand them, you can never achieve your dreams.

Stick to Plan

You should not change tracks all of a sudden. Consider organizing your steps in order to attain your goal, which makes it simpler for you to accomplish. If you are aiming to change your career or life, instead of leaping directly to conclusions, plan it and move step wise.

Follow A Plan

Nothing works out without a concise, consistent and clear plan. You have to be able to focus on yourself such that you know what you are doing.

Visualize Future

You must be clear about your future. Future visualization in important. After you are clear about your future, take some time to sit back and relax. Now imagine a new future and ask yourself is it actually what you want in life.

 Say no to negatives

When you present your ideas of transforming to others, be sure to face oppositions from people in and around you. You will get a negative feedback in the beginning, as they are used to seeing and dealing with you the way you are. Therefore, say no to negatives.

 Check Your Progress

After you have decided everything required to reach your ultimate goal, keep a track of all the progress you make towards achieving it. Be it a very small achievement; appreciate yourself for your efforts. This will thus build your self-confidence and help you pursue the ultimate aim in life

C R Arun 

SET YOUR GOAL TO ACHIEVE MORE

Hey folks, there is no GPS in life to guide you where to go, to bring you back home if you are lost and to drive you safe if you are confused. Don’t dishearten! There is one thing is life that can work as a GPS device in your life, career and add value to your personality. Well! It’s Goal.

Goal setting serves as a GPS in your life, keeping you on the right track towards your destination and saving you from wandering aimlessly. An act of goal setting itself can be signified as the point of embarking on the journey towards one’s own achievements.

If your goals are definite, they enable you to focus all of your energies towards achieving it. Every goal should be concrete and specific. It is very important to identify what you are striving for and commit yourself whole-heartedly towards achieving it.

Benefits Of Goal Setting

·        Stay focused

·        Overcoming Procrastination

·        Measure progress

·        Manage Time

·        Stay disciplined

·        Motivate

·        Stress Free Life

Helps You Stay Focused

 The greatest importance of goal setting is that it helps you stay focused to achieve what you seek. We all yearn to make big in life, but how many of us make it, very few!!! Goal acts like a steering wheel that maneuvers you along the right direction. Focus is the key. You, in no way, can afford to take your eyes off the goal even for a moment.

Assists In Overcoming Procrastination

Procrastination is nothing but the common habit of delaying. Goal setting also helps you overcome procrastination. The habit of procrastination is one of the biggest frailties of human nature, which severely jeopardizes the chances of one’s advancements. If we have a set goal for ourselves, you will always be on the ball and do as required to achieve it. You will waste less time on insignificant or unproductive actions and take a more direct route to the accomplishment of the goal.

Measures Your Progress

Goal setting works as a measuring gauge of your progress that enables you to evaluate your advancements from time to time. You will have a clear idea on what you have been able to achieve so far, what you lack or how can you improve yourself.

Stay disciplined

It helps you set barriers. Setting clear, solid goals for yourself gives you a firm fence line. It creates an invisible barrier, whereby you decide what you want, what liberties do you have and what distractions you need to get rid of, in order to expedite your progress towards achieving your goal.

Enables You To Manage Your Time

By setting goals, you will be able to manage your time to your maximum benefit. You will have a clear idea of what you have to achieve in a particular frame of time. Thus, you can channelize all your energy and concentration towards achieving it.

Motivates

Goals must motivate you. If a goal is not motivating you, its not your goal. Motivation is an important ingredient that steps up one’s prospect of achieving one’s personal milestones. Assigning yourself with some short term goals will help you accomplish them in less time and will give you an added sense of achievement that can motivate you to perform better.

Once motivated, you will set higher and higher limits for yourself and will be achieving more and more in due course of time.

Stress Free Life

A clear goal makes our life simple, organized and managed. A managed life makes you stress free and you have lot more to enjoy and excel. By having a clear goal in your mind, you will be well aware of your priorities and with an effective time management strategy, you will be able to achieve your goals with little exertion. You will also be devoid of any mental stress, which will further enhance your productivity and efficiency.

C R Arun